I Will Not Sit Down and Shut Up

After a long day at work, I entered the front door to be greeted with hugs and kisses from all three of my beautiful girls. Exactly as it should be. They were each excited to tell me about their day and about how ecstatic they each were to be going to see the Globetrotters later this evening. Ahh...smiles and delighted giggles and happy faces...Exactly as it should be. As I began to prepare a rushed meal of grilled cheese, grapes, and milk, the girls began to tell me about the substitute bus driver. M said that he had to pull the bus over just a few blocks from their stop so that he could walk to the back of the bus "to talk to those kids...it looked like he was slapping them, but I'm sure he wasn't...and then he came back to the front and turned at me and yelled, 'Sit down and shut up' at me." Not quite phased (I understand how difficult it is to be a bus driver in general, so the job of a sub bus driver I imagine to be even more difficult), I asked if either she or B were yelling on the bus. Both innocently shook their heads no. Their response seemed genuine. I pride myself on being fairly tuned in to my children as a parent and am usually able to read them accurately. I then asked if anyone around them had been yelling or standing up. They said, "No, not really..." I asked for a direct "yes" or "no". M admitted that there were two boys near them who'd been standing...sort of. I began to shrug it off as something to just let go of given what seemed to be the circumstances...sub bus driver, kids yelling, made a mistake in yelling at MY child...but she'll get over it. And then B chirped, "And he made O and all the girls get off and walk farther than the boys." I placed the last sandwich on it's plate and passed them to the girls. I asked O if that was true. She said she didn't think it was such a big deal, but that he didn't stop at the regular stop and instead stopped further away and told the girls who were ready to get off to "get out" and then closed the door behind them. He drove a short distance down the road, and the boys got off the bus. At this point, the situation now became a little aggravating and seemed worth reporting to the Bus Garage to prevent future situations between the sub and my children. I quickly located the phone number, having used it to call one other time to let the regular driver know that O would not be joining the other students at the regular stop on days when the middle school and high school students are smoking...but would instead be picked up at the end of our driveway, less than 200 feet before the stop. The woman who took the call appeared very understanding and asked few questions, which I expected as it wasn't up to the bus driver to prevent the kids from smoking at the stop. The same cheerful voice answered the line and I explained who I was and that I was calling regarding bus #305 and the substitute driver. She knew immediately whom I was speaking about and said, "Oh, that was Curt, the Safety Director, let me get him for you." A little surprised at the sub's title, I anxiously awaited Curt's explanation of the situation. He answered the line in a matter-of-fact manner and allowed me to inquire about the "sit down and shut up" incident. He said that "she was very very loud from the time they left the school and had to be told many times that she needed to be quiet and I finally did tell her to sit down and shut up". I said that I certainly understood that if her behavior was inappropriate and asked if he believed what they were telling me was inaccurate. He stated, "absolutely". I said that I found it hard to believe that after all the times that my girls had been on the bus and all of the times that the other bus drivers (Roy and Bill) pointed out that they were so well behaved, that they were suddenly so inappropriate. Curt interrupted stating that kids behave worse for subs and that he didn't feel it was too much to expect that they sit quietly for the 4-5 minutes that they are riding the bus. I told him that I whole-heartedly agree and asked,"Children most definitely should be expected to sit quietly while riding the bus, but you said you told her to 'sit down and shut up'. Do you truly believe that was an appropriate way to speak to a 9-10 year old?" He said, "Absolutely." I then asked if he could clarify what happened later while driving the second route for our older daughter who was not dropped off at her regular stop and was told to "get off" along with a few other girls while the boys were dropped off further down the road. He said he never told anyone to "get off" and didn't know what exactly I was talking about. I found it interesting, he knew exactly what I was talking about earlier...perhaps a little guilt knowing he'd said something wrong? Or was her behavior so awful that she stuck out in his mind? I then asked, "So I now have three children who have all told me something completely inaccurate, is that correct?" He said, "Yes." I asked then to speak with his supervisor or manager. He said, "I'm him. I'm the bus company owner." I repeated his statement, "You are the bus company owner." He proudly stated, "yes" as my eavesdropping husband pulled the phone from my hand and moved to another room to have a private "conversation" with Curt. I hesitated and then decided against it, quickly following the sound of his large, now very angry voice. What little I grabbed of the last conversation included..."Do you really believe that it was appropriate to tell a 9 year old to shut up"..."How would you feel if you were on a bus and were told to shut up"..."If you ever tell my child to shut up again, I will find you"..."No, I'm not threatening you, sir, I am promising you"..."F'n asshole, that is what you are, telling a 9 year old kid to sit down and shut up"...."Honey, I think he just hung up on me..."