Waterlogged at the Waterpark

This year was the perfect mid-winter break vacation for our family. We stayed at the amazing Wilderness Hotel and Resort via Glacier Canyon Lodge (which we whole-heartedly recommend to anyone with school-age children or teenagers who don't mind the short enclosed walkways to each indoor park) and spent three days at each of the waterparks. Our small fry, M, managed to squeak past the How Tall are You posters by puffing out her chest and standing extra "tall", raising her chin just a tad...and she made full use of each and every ride! We each took turns on the body slides, tube slides, and family raft rides. The favorite pool was the huge Wave Pool at the Waterdome. The girls also loved The Hurricane waterslide at the Klondike and had ridden it a few times with their dad before finally convincing me that it was my turn. As I climbed the massive stair case to the ceiling, the girls elbowed each other secretly and covered their mouths to stifle their giggles. We pulled over to the side of the staircase a few times to allow my jello legs a quick rest. I knew that I was in for it, but little did I know what was truly about to happen to my poor unsuspecting body. When we finally reached the top, we were directed to a large scale. As if getting into a bathing suit mid-winter isn't bad enough...they now expected me to get weighed? The four of us took our place on the scale and the lifeguard read the results. I held my breath for a brief moment before she gave us the anxiously anticipated thumbs-up. I looked at the four large men behind me and wondered how they would fare... Before I could turn to see them load the scale, the lifeguard was directing me into the tube. The girls were now laughing as she pointed at the back of the raft, indicating that I would be riding backwards. My heart stopped, my knees shook, and the only thought I recall is that of my loving husband who had seemingly turned his back to me to arrange the towels over the chairs while the girls begged me to go on this God-forsaken ride. I entered the raft and took my place. The lifeguard asked if we were ready. The girls answered immediately, but before I could eek out my reply we were on our way into the dark tunnel. The girls screamed with laughter when we suddenly plunged straight down! This was clearly the path to Hell. The water propelled us forward into a large tube which we skidded up one side and down the next several times, each pass feeling as though we would surely capsize. A stream of water in the center of the tube slowed our movement and continued to move us forward until we were pulled into a smaller tube and doused with a heavy waterfall. I'm not sure how the girls could sputter water while still laughing! I was still trying to catch my breath when a lifeguard grabbed our raft and shoved us toward dry land. The girls hopped out and headed toward the bottom of the staircase again, not bothering to check to see if I was still alive. I rolled out of the raft like a stunned sea lion and plopped not-so-gracefully into the pool, trying desperately to gain my footing. As I crawled up the pool steps, I caught my sweet husband's laughing eyes. Yes, revenge, will be sweet indeed.