Pep Talks

Last night, I received a phone call from the mother of O's best friend. I knew that our daughters had been experiencing spats over the past month and had actually considered calling her last week. But I wasn't sure how to approach the situation, so I let O simply handle things in her own way. I was happy to hear from (parent) and listened intently as she described the recent conversations (parent) had had with her daughter regarding O and their on again/off again friendship. It seemed that they had taken up other friendships which did not include one another and each was struggling with jealousy and hurt feelings. O had been encouraged to explore these other friendships after having her heart stomped on by whom I refer to as "the Mean Girls". If you've had the chance to see the Lindsey Lohan movie, you'll know exactly what type of girls I'm referring to. The ones who manipulate the social circles to meet their needs, who smile sweetly at you while whispering behind your back, the ones who string you along until they tire of you. I knew girls like that, and I, too, thought that I had to please them in order to be liked by them and be like them. It wasn't until I was heading off to high school that I finally realized that they meant little to me, and that I didn't need to meet their approval. They certainly hadn't met mine. O and I had talked through her relationship with "the Mean Girls", and she agreed that she felt better about herself when she chose to hang around other friends. Therefore, she made a decision to ignore their hurtful behavior, smile, and be the best friend that she could be to those who treated her with respect and kindness. Unfortunately for O, her best friend chose the Mean Girls. O has since struggled with trying to ignore the MGs without ignoring her best friend, but her emotions tend to get the best of her. After I hung up the phone, I knew that approaching O with the information I'd learned wouldn't help the situation, so I called in reinforcements. This morning, O happily informed me that she'd had an enlightening conversation with her Daddy at bedtime and that he helped her to remember to not be pulled in by wanting so badly to be liked by someone (like the MGs) that you say or do hurtful things to others. He reminded her that she is a beautiful and talented young lady who is blessed with many friends, including a very special best friend. O decided that she'd go to school this morning and try to keep an open mind about her friend's choice to hang out with the MGs and not let it get the best of her. Sheesh. And we have Middle School yet to look forward to!